Love is like a fart. If you have to force it. It’s probably shit. Love is like a fart. If you have to force it. It’s probably shit.
Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair.
Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair.
Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life
“Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.” RELATED: My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine I never lose. I either win or learn
Every time you get dressed, remember: If you die, that’s your ghost’s outfit forever.
“Every time you get dressed, remember: If you die, that’s your ghost’s outfit forever.” RELATED: If you ran like your mouth, you’d be in good shape I fell for you and I am still falling
You are either on my side, by my side, or in my fucking way, choose wisely
You are either on my side, by my side, or in my fucking way Choose wisely